Someone asked me the other day what it meant to me, to love myself. To be frank, I was quite stunned at her question and i distracted her with asking how her day went instead. She was a young girl and honestly, I wasn’t quite sure how to answer her without the fear of triggering the wrong idea at such a impressionable age. As I watched buildings whiz by on the train,her question gave me something to think about on the way home.
The Journey to loving yourself has never been easy. I don’t think it ever stops through the years- it only gets better or worse. It’s so easy to be your own harshest critic, but on the other hand, to draw the line between pride and conceitedness is just as easy as flipping a coin. We fall in love with people. We fall in love with places and things. We fall in love with actions. With ideas. With words. With moments.
Over and over again. Day after day. Person after person.
I’ve always thought that falling in love with someone was a choice, one that required the mind to agree with the heart to consistently choose the person over and over again. Then, if falling in love is a choice, maybe, just maybe. We can learn to choose it for ourselves. Then comes the biggest question on the minds of the people who have been hurt before, “Can we love others if we are unsure if we love ourselves even?”
If I could answer her now, I would think that loving yourself is appreciating yourself for who you are and what your abilities and flaws are. It’s to be grateful for the many moments you have that make you who you are, be it in the good times or the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. It is the desire to want to do better and be a better version of yourself each day. “To be loved is a blessing. If you are loved because you need another’s love to feel whole- then you have not truly grasped the meaning of love- because love needs to start from you and you alone”.
I don’t always have the right words to say. But I know sometimes, it feels better to try voicing out your opinion than not voicing it out at all.