There is no better caption for this post

Mutual respect -That’s all I really ask for, really.

I wanted to write about this for quite some time now but I decided to give myself a few more days to calm down before writing about it. I originally hesitated to write this because I knew this post will probably step on this person’s toes, but I have resolved that this isn’t going to be something nice, but it has to be said.

It was like any other day at work, and I had a separate tab logged onto Facebook. I do check on Facebook time to time at work, but it’s not necessarily often that I am on it. This friend of mine has been what i call a ‘stagnant’ friend. We met through school friends and we haven’t spoken in quite a few years. Even if we did talk, it was mostly hi and bye, very basic stuff. He was attached and so was I during those few years.

So my messenger pops up, and he’s messaging me for a date. I’m flattered, I really am. But I find this all too weird. I mean, why ask me now for a date, in the middle of the day- and jumping straight into it when we haven’t had a good conversation or hang out in at least two years? I casually tell him I’m not interested, because quite frankly, he isn’t my type. He tries to reassure me, to tell me two other women are chasing him, and he doesn’t mind dating me- I flinch at my screen.

We banter a little on Facebook on opinions before we switch to Whatsapp. He already has my number, I don’t. When we switch to whatapp, he pressurizes me to tell him how far I went in my previous relationship, stating that he wanted to know a ‘naughty side‘ of me. The conversation below then sparked anger because I refused to let him belittle me, and I felt his words towards me were extremely offensive and distasteful.

I have since blocked him off every social media site, and because my blog is open to the public, he might chance upon this. If he does, I don’t think he’d feel the slightest bit embarrassed. My mother always said, don’t do the talk if you can’t do the walk. And that’s something I’ve learnt over the years. I’m pretty sure you don’t see what’s the problem here, don’t you?

I’m not a feminist, neither am I practicing Mormon or liberalism.But the real question that’s going in my head is, why do you even bother? If you were trying to ask me out,attempting to date people for the sake of getting into bed with then, then I’m sorry to break it to you- you’re obviously barking up the wrong tree/s. Sex is a personal choice and I’m pretty sure I reserve the right to choose if I do want to have sex or stay a virgin, and we should be respected for that choice- male or female alike.

The conversation has been posted here to have a constructive debate. Leave a comment in the section below and I’d like to hear from any other perspective that allows me to understand or remove the douche label i have pasted mentally on this ‘stagnant’ friend of mine. Or soon to be, stranger.


Me: But whatever it is I maintain that it’s my decision to have sex or not, and I just don’t want to now.

Him: I might as well chop my dick off, if there isn’t any hand stuff.

Me: Well if you love someone enough, I believe the guy will wait.

Him: You know how freaking cheesy that sounds, there’s 2 sides to everybody. The physical and emotional. Even if he loves you , doesn’t mean he will wait.

Me: The highest form of love is commitment, in my opinion.

Him: Being committed to someone doesn’t mean he has to conform to your beliefs. Commitment requires compromise.

Me: A relationship requires commitment and compromise i agree. but it’s not about confirming to another person’s beliefs, its about respecting one another for what they stand for. Especially when this concerns someone else’s body, it’s solely their rules.

Him: Sigh. Ok, nevermind. I don’t really know what to say. To me, I understand what you’re trying to get at but its too much.

Me: Yup. I understand. And I know that makes me ‘undatable’. But I rather stand for something I believe in.

Him: Asking me to wait that long without anything physically is as good as telling me to change myself entirely.

Me: Go absorb if you have to.

Him: Absorb?

Me: Because you said it’s too much.

Him: Sigh. Good luck in finding a man who believes in that though, it’s gonna be hard.

4 thoughts on “There is no better caption for this post

  1. Bonjour! There are boys and there are men, just like how there are girls and there are women. Boys are as boys are, but at this age I think it is when we find a man that we will find that our opinions are not as unpopular as we think, and that most of the time it hardly matters if our opinions are even popular at all.

  2. There will always be a guy who will understand you enough, and always be trying to understand you even more. However it looks like he’s more into it physically than emotionally, relationship wise. I believe everyone has the choice to choose/feel when he/she wants to have sex, or not.

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