Thoughts thoughts thoughts

12.58am

I’ve decided that I am effectively bipolar. Or rather, I’m difficult to please. On good days, I enjoy being around people who talk about their dreams, their goals and their aspirations. I enjoy lending my ear and telling them in return my dreams, in the hopes that they will not only solidify them, but support them, with love. On bad days, I’d like silence- with company. Sadly, that’s something that not many seem to be able to do these days. Or rather, like I said. I’m hard to please.

1.01am

It’s February. The second.

I remember promising someone I wouldn’t date anyone else until it was 6 months after. Give it time, as well as mutual respect to the other party who would feel so insignificant if he/she found out you had been dating someone else a week after you have broken up with them.

Where was that decency of not making each other feel so insignificant back then?

Why do I give you the right to make me feel anything less of myself?

Why should I?

1.07am

Scratch the above. I don’t care. We were done anyway. With or without thinking, it doesn’t change any facts.

We’re done.

I learnt it the hard way.

1.08am

My hair is starting to fade to brown from red. This makes me sad. I did my hair in Bangkok and was served by a lady boy whom I found to be quite domineering and scary in the beginning but really nice towards the end. People are not whom you think they are.

1.11am

My mother brought home some really nice onion chicken. I know it sounds gross but when it’s heated up with rice, it really warms your chest cavity. Oh yes, weirdest thing I’ve heard all day-someone claimed today that rice was not meant for humans, yet alone Asians. Apparently they were made for bird food? I’m not sure how true this fact is though.

It’s weird isn’t it?

It’s like how my friend insisted (For real) the other day that he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday because it was insensitive to his mother. Simply because you are reminding your mother of the pain she encountered while giving birth to you.

“Why celebrate your mother’s pain?”

1.18am

It’s day three of Chinese new year tomorrow. I have a guest over tomorrow. And also, a report due which I have not started (at all).

1.27am

Forget me elixir, anyone?

I want to remember what it was like to be independent again.

1.30am

I am really craving for some prata now.

1.34am

I gave up on prata and got a cup of water instead.

1.45am

Today at my sister’s place, me and my mother encountered a woman in her late 60’s who sat underneath the blocks. We stood near her as we were waiting for my sister to drive the car from the car park to pick us up. This woman, had yellow white hair and was dressed in a nightgown. She then proceeded to shout in dialects into thin air. She pointed in the air, turned her head beside her and shouted. It was needless to say me and my mother were aghast, but we proceeded to act calmy and wait for my sister’s arrival.

I then got distracted with a really cute and small sausage dog that walked by us and pointed at the dog while saying loudly “oh my god mommy! That dog is so cute!”

Wrong move. For the lady stood up, pointed at me and started shouting at the top of her voice.

My mother grabbed me by the arm and whispered “you shouldn’t have pointed.”

My sister came two minutes after. Needless to say we were terrified as we hurriedly got in the car.

Lesson learnt. Never point in the direction or near strange people. They might kill you.

1.47am

Bed calls. Hopefully this time I’d sleep better than the night before.

xx
xx

 

 

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